To be honest, I’m feeling knackered. Not because I’ve had a busy week, but because last night I was up until 2am watching the last few episodes of True Blood. Last night I was bingeing on a TV show until the early hours of the morning, last night I was doing what is now known as #vamping.
For many teenagers vamping takes the form or staying up until the early hours of the morning communicating with friends online through Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, texting, You-Tubing, TV show bingeing and so on.
The trend of teenagers staying up late at night is often seen as a cliché. We forget, or maybe don’t know, that there is a chemical change happening in the brain during the teen years that rewires their body clocks, resulting in them not feeling tired at night. For many teenagers, not getting the full eight and a half hours sleep doesn’t seem like a big deal – they believe they can function better on less sleep than we can. But sleep is important for us all, especially the developing brain and growing bodies of teens.
But before we focus on the pitfalls of vamping, what we should actually ask is this: Is vamping really some new cyber-influenced syndrome, out to destroy our teens? I don’t know about you, but as a young person I was often guilty of hiding a torch under the bed so I could read all night. When I was given a phone (as in one that required being plugged into the wall) for my 17th birthday, yep you guessed it, I stayed up late talking to friends. I listened to music and practiced make up and hairstyles. I was being a typical teenager… staying up late. So, vamping – a new syndrome? Or just a fancy name for a phase which generations of teenagers have experienced?
I have three teenagers – aged 14, 16 and 18. They each have a phone and a laptop. They are what I would consider ‘normal’ level ‘screenagers’. They each have busy lives with school, band practice, part time work, VET courses, girlfriends and so on. Many teenagers have very busy schedules, often far busier than we were! I know many families where homework, sport, music, dance, volunteering, work commitments and so on can take up huge amounts of outside school hours. For many teens, bedtime is in fact the best time for actually catching up with friends on a social level.
So, vamping – a new syndrome? Or just a fancy name for a phase which generations of teenagers have experienced?
Interacting with friends is an essential part of teenage development. It is during this time that these new adults are learning social interactions and dynamics. Being online does not replace face-to-face interactions, but remember they get that from school, sport, after school activities and so on. I believe that cyber space does have something to add in terms of social interactions. Cyber space is a part of our reality now, they must learn how to ‘play nice’ and be safe. Online communication is now an accepted component of ‘hanging out’. But should that be at 3am? Not really.
I have toyed with the idea of taking phones and laptops off the kids at night in an enforced curfew, but that doesn’t suit the way I parent. We talk about the importance of sleep and how late night interactions on social media can and will impact on the next day. My parenting style is not to ‘tell’ my teens what to do – seriously does anyone really think that works with teenagers?? But I will sure as hell make them drag their weary butts out of bed at 6.30am every school morning as required. When met with groans and moans of how tired they are, I rebut with a sarcastic “naw, maybe you can snapchat that crap tonight at 1am!” They get my point. Teen brains might not be fully developed in making rational decisions but the point can be made with consequences. Consequences: what we call “No Sh*t Sherlock” moments.
Getting angry or frustrated does not get parents anywhere. Calm discussion peppered with humour and sprinkled with a little stirring is the most effective method in my house.
The important thing for parents is to talk to their teens and explain that the consequences of lack of sleep can have very serious effects on not only school, but their overall health. Sleep deprivation is a recognised torture after all. Allow them to join the dots between vamping and feeling like crap the next day. I do not believe in treating teenagers as children; they are adults in training. Getting angry or frustrated does not get parents anywhere. Calm discussion peppered with humour and sprinkled with a little stirring is the most effective method in my house.
I challenge my teens to turn off a few days a week, most of the time they do. I make a point of noting how good they feel after a good night’s sleep. Our agreement on ‘vamping’ is it’s something they do on nights when they don’t have to get up for school the next day. (To be honest, being ‘allowed’ to do it has taken the shine off wanting to do it as well – see what I did there!) School nights maintain an agreed bedtime and lights off time. Now they make decisions about their behaviours and reap the benefits or suffer the consequences of those decisions.
Just like I did today.
Can someone grab me a coffee?
This article is fantastic Jo. Well done